A Silent Sufferer

  

Good morning, world. 

My beautiful baby is resting right now, and the only way that ever happens is if I lay with her. So, to still feel ‘productive’, here I am writing to you. 

Moments ago, I watched a powerful video that’s going viral. The topic: depression. This Irish fellow speaks from the most heart-centered place as he courageously tells his silent story. To view it, visit Mind Body Green.

He bravely asks others to speak up if they are silently suffering too. To support him in his journey, this is my brief moment of true vulnerability for the day. Standing together to speak up about this silent illness. 

Since I was a young child, I’ve been a Silent Sufferer. Few people in my life have really known the depth of my suffering. Growing in a home with everything a child should never have to see, I quickly learned to suck-it-up, Princess. 

Not a day in my life has gone by that I haven’t struggled in someway with depression. Whether it be on a day of deep sorrow or a day of self pity or even a day of celebration when I simply have felt like I wasn’t worthy of such a beautiful moment. Unless you live with depression, you really couldn’t fully understand. 

Becoming a mother has helped to surface many of these emotions. It hasn’t removed them, just brought them into the light. My pregnancy with my daughter was the healthiest moment of my entire life. I can’t even explain how wonderful I felt, emotionally. So many people  told me that I was glowing and I’m telling you, I was. In every single sense of the word. 

Meeting Jovie has changed me. I’m still struggling, every day. But not like I used to. I’m not as silent and that is a huge break-through for me. I’ve joined a small Mommy’s Support Group on-line. I’m talking to my friends+family about my feelings. Hell, I’m even blogging about it for all of you to read. 

Raising awareness & talking about injustices is part of my reason for being on this planet: for whatever reason, Someone thought I could handle the task. It’s not been easy and I don’t suspect it will become any more comfortable. Yet, it just feels like the Right thing to do. And for that very reason, I want to stand tall with anyone who feels alone in this world. 

Becoming a mama has given me the backbone that I believe always existed in me; somehow it’s just become strengthened. My job now is to live for my daughter; for my family. When Jovie is sad, I will never, not for one minute, silence her worries. When she is scared, you can damn well guarantee that I will be the one crying with her – not causing her fears. 

If you know of anyone suffering, or if you suspect it, please do them the gentleness and reach out. Most of us are silently carrying-on because we haven’t the courage yet to Ask For Help. Be the reason they don’t need to Suffer Silently anymore. 

xo

Photo credit: Image courtesy of pakorn at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

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