Addicted to Pain

Have you ever really considered why we put ourselves in harmsway? Why are we so addicted to pain? What is it about our make-up that encourages such reckless behaviour?

Now, to most, I am far from ‘reckless’. In fact, I’ve been called a ‘goodie two-shoes’ on more than one occasion, as an adult. Little do many know though that I live with addictions. To alcohol and to food.

It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve made the choice to live sober (my anniversary is coming up later this month). It wasn’t an easy choice for me: I’ve been in denial and probably still am that I actually have alcoholism.

The problem that has been affecting me more than alcohol though is my destorted relationship with food. We have a love-hate relationship actually. It’s so easy for me to turn off my ‘give a shit’ button & gorge. Other times, I am so highly restrictive with my intake of certain foods that people comment how ridiculous I’m being.

Is there a happy medium for someone with addictions? How does one find it and stick to it? The answer I’ve been told is through God and Al-Anon. This is a slow-moving journey for me and I’m taking it day by day.

The more I learn about my addictions, the more I am willing to talk about it. Uncovering the blanket of shame associated with this illness is exactly what liberates us from it. So, here is my 3 minutes of vulnerability today, hoping someone out there benefits from my openness.

Sending you love & light,



2 thoughts on “Addicted to Pain

  1. Food plays a role in our culture that goes beyond just nourishing us. It plays a role in celebrations, emotions and as parents we are judged constantly by the foods we do or do not provide our kids and how, where. For any issues with food mindfullness and anything by Ellyn Satter are my go toos.

    Liked by 1 person

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